WELOVEUS

here's one i came across on the net

_____________________________________

Having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. There now, feeling better?

Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Samsung ElectronicsCaller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack ?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack ?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring ServicesCaller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory EnquiriesCaller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f%*%*%g stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

Just for laughs!
-Charlton

i forgot to add in the details :/ for kaijian's benefit, and those sleeping,
独立研习论文计划呈交表：(the proposal)
word limit: 500
single line spacing
size 14 simsun
footnote: size 10 simsun
书目，文献：size 10 simsun
参考文献：(this is the title as in the heading) size 14 simsun bold
(simsun is 简宋体 btw)

:D
-jiayi

CSC! (again)
okay if you all weren't sleeping during lecture, you should know what this is about :D
please look thru the topics below, choose carefully cos its for your a's, and then tell me tmr what topic you want okay.
i'm gonna hand in the paper tmr cos its the last lesson alr!!

Considering that LT2 was crammed like crazy.. and the bulk of our class that went was sitting on the floor and thus could not take notes properly.. I am kindly putting up the notes I took.. =)

Important dates to note:
Deadline for handing in the application forms for University H3s - 29th October 2009, by 12pm at College Reception.
Week 3 of November - Receiving of admission letters for University H3s
Week 4 of November - Send in the admission letters by this week
Start of lessons (I only took for NTU) - 19th January 2009

Deadline for appeal for H3 - 7th November (get some pink form from college reception)

Briefing for MOE H3 and also application on ISP - Week 2 of January, 2009
Confirmation for MOE H3 - Week 3 of January, 2009
Lessons start for MOE H3 - Week 4 of January, 2009

Amount paid for H3: $60.
Nominal Fee for 'A' Levels: $50

If you want to back out of a H3 (especially MOE one).. have to do so within two weeks. (Not sure of the exact date) You will get a full refund of the $60 this way.

For MOE H3:
Mondays & Thursdays: Physics and Math H3
Tuesdays & Fridays: Chemistry and Economics H3

Handing in of University H3 Application Forms: Remember to attach a copy your 'O' Level / Sec 4 Overall IP Results Certificate and also your JC1 Overall Results slip which we should be getting on 29th itself. So be prepared to photocopy it to attach and submit the form on that day itself. For NTU, a copy of your NRIC or passport is also needed! For both NUS and NTU, don't forget your passport-size photograph. And for NUS, you NEED an academic referee report!

That was all that I bothered to take down.. I was also sitting on the floor anyway.. =)

-Charlton

Just in case you need some writing inspiration. Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners:

As y'all know, poor little cute me is sick )): BUT THENNNN, i stay at home got use one okay. I got so bored i decided to create a photobucket accnt for us! The user ID and pw's the same as this blog, not sure can come and ask me(:

I uploaded most of the pictures from our blog and the seniors blog (wait i think i forgot MAF!! SORRYY) couldn't find any fac outing 1 photos though. weird, like it just dissappeared from our blog! Creepy, haha. Any of you who have photos can go upload themmm! Oh and maf photos also, cause i really too lazy to go back to that website. i must have uploaded more than 150 photos today haha. Remember to organize them nicely cause yes, i am anal. Anyways like that easier to find when we need them right?

THANKKKKKKS <33333333333333

Sabrina(:

P.S: you'll be shocked at the number of sleeping photos there are. I had to create an album specifically for that luh. And you'll also be shocked at the percentage of them that are of our dep fac head. HAHAHA (:

i hacked into sabrina's isp account today and took a look at her C1 overall results and i got the shock of my life...
(click on the image to enlarge)



HOLY **** IMBA!!! WTF! STRAIGHT A's? TOP IN ALL SUBJECTS??!?!?! AND YET SHE IS COMPLAINING SHE SCREWED UP PROMOS?!?!! WALAO MUST NERF HER LAR!

*video removed due to violation.
edited by loo ting



Mr Ken yeow's speech + Fac Head singing.
credits: Jianing
Nice try, Lian Seng. We salute your bravery.
I cant believe fac heads are judges for the auditions.
Im not sure about artemis. At least Ares is. (:

LT

hoho should we dedicate something to the seniors in the prom magazine?
:D

-jiayi

yoohoo~~ these r our bbq photos!! we had so much fun! we love 6D.(these r all the pics in my camera..others can contribute also!!)

hoho, i must contribute to the bbq, they cook, i eat
junjun,"Zhang Qin, are you sure chicken wings are supposed to be bbqed to black and dry and not golden brown?"
Zhang Qin,"Uh... oh so there is the chicken wing, i was wondering who in the right mind will bbq a charcoal."

"that leng xiao hua damn funny..wahaha.."

lian seng is NOT in the background

good thing there are lots of guys in this class, so that we, the girls can slack here and pose for the camera.

Zhang qin thinks," why does jia hua get the meat while i only get the bone. :/"

Olivia,"LIAN SENG! YOUR ( she coughs, but i think she wants to say satays) ARE ON FIRE!"
Lian Seng,"Hehe, you say like i will feel shy leh."
Yitian," Sigh, 惨不忍睹。”
urm, lian seng... i think you should put out the fire on the burning satays

Olivia,"I meant the satay."
Lian Seng (disappointed)," oh..."

Yoyo, i has teh cups and you doesn't, LOL!

muz arrange nicely.. n_n

still arranging .
Dan Hong,"张秦，你好了没啊，我都饿到肚皮贴后背了。”
Zhang Qin,"I am a perfectionist"

Jun Hong,"im gonna skip zhang qin's pit and take chicken wing from jia hui's pit there. so i can save at least 3 hours of my life. hmm 3 hours of tennis, opportunity costs..."

junjun,"JiaHua, 你再怎么饿也不能把张秦吃了啊！现在谁来烤东西啊？”
Jia Hua,"没事儿，我来烤。”
junjun,“我就担心这个，你考那么慢，待会儿能不能把我也吃了。”


thanks evelyn.. and uh kaijian:)


jiahua got too hungry and ate himself, now there is no one left to tend this pit

jiayi,"eee, why i use the tongs still cant reach the chicken wing, lian seng you help me lar!"
lian seng," don wan leh, i am eating satay, i am busy, i cant help you take the chicken wing, i am lian seng."

our fooood.

yummy

jia hui," Sissors paper stone!, Yea i win!!!......Eh? no one playing with me ar.. :( emos."
evelyn,"..."
Sabrina,"X)"

charlton ," i shall bring up the IQ in this photo."
jia yi,"hoho, im going to take you brain charlton."

"we want you!!".. poor yier


lian seng,“Hmm... I think Zhen Hao's one still bigger, don feel sad Yier."
Yier,"nvm lar, strength and size are inversely related."

posted by jianing ^_^
captions by Yier, well most of them

haha. ok i know i'm fast. =)


the guys are trying to get ziang into the pool but he's hugging the pillar with all his strength. lol.


look! olivia's eating all those by herself. tsk tsk. 3 cans of pepsi!

2 versions of "6D". hehe.

-eve

YO!
omg csc got "class outing".
OCTOBER 15 NEXT WEDNESDAY 2PM AT TENNIS COURTS. WE'LL BE BACK BY 4PM. (i think its at chinatown!)
those not going have to go find the teachers.
i dont really know what its for, go read smb yourself HAHA.
kthanksbye.
-nice csc rep :D